Bad News for ‘Trump-Adjacent Weirdos’ Delights Seth Meyers
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Judicial television, live
On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Dominion Voting Systems can pursue libel lawsuits against Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. Seth Meyers called them “weirdos adjacent to Trump” and poked fun at their electoral fraud conspiracy theories on Thursday’s “Late Night” show.
“Okay, so there are only two plausible explanations for what happened here: Either a federal judge appointed by Donald Trump ruled that the unfounded allegations of electoral fraud made by three of Trump’s allies were not exempt from defamation laws, either Hugo Chavez teamed up with China and the CIA to use Italian military satellites to hack the judge’s computer and change his opinion, which was then printed on paper imported from China smuggled and covered with bamboo fibers. The only way to know for sure is to make the judge’s decision in a cabin in Montana, examine it under strong ultraviolet light, then bury it in the garden, wait three days and see if it. raining. – SETH MEYERS
Meyers and Stephen Colbert largely focused on Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, whose reaction to the news was caught on camera.
“Watching someone get bad news, in real time, at their own symposium is my new problem. ” – SETH MEYERS
“This week he hosted a live cybersymposium, for which he hired a ‘red team’ of cyber experts and gave them what he said was 37 terabytes of compelling evidence that hackers broke into electoral systems using intercepted “packet captures.” “Packet captures”, of course, is a technical term you may know by their street name, “pillow cases”. – STEPHEN COLBERT
“Honestly, poor cyber experts. You go to school to get a computer science degree, spend your entire career mastering a highly specialized skill that would actually be very useful in today’s high-tech economy, then a psychopathic pillow mogul. Handed you what I guess was a trash bag full of dry cleaning slips and CBS receipts and said, ‘I need you to change who the president is.’ ” – SETH MEYERS
The most impactful punchlines (Today in Rudy Edition)
“Rudy was also sued by Dominion for a billion dollars. Now he faces a mountain of legal fees. This mountain is in his apartment, right next to Franzia’s empty cardboard mountain. – STEPHEN COLBERT
“Dude, I wish I could have seen Rudy’s face when he found out.” And that’s something, because I wished I could see Rudy’s face. – SETH MEYERS
“On top of that, Rudy’s Washington attorney’s license was suspended and he was suspended from his right to practice law in New York City due to” manifestly false and misleading “statements about the election. – which means he is cut off from his previous source of income: say is next to a dildo store. – STEPHEN COLBERT
Songs worth watching
In honor of Jimmy Fallon’s 1500th episode of “The Tonight Show,” Kit Harington gave the host something he expected: a “straightforward” rendition of Train’s “Drops of Jupiter”.
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