Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’

Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’
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Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’

Stephen Colbert: Mike Pence Is ‘America’s Spare Tire’

“That’s proper, the coronavirus is spreading via the Coronavirus Process Pressure. However don’t fear, the White Home is now forming a process pressure to determine what went unsuitable with the duty pressure.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Severely, it doesn’t instill loads of confidence that the top of the Coronavirus Process Pressure’s workplace received the coronavirus. It’s like if the Avengers received mugged.” — JIMMY FALLON

“So far as we all know, the virus can’t be transmitted between people and poodles so he ought to be OK.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Yep, the one place the coronavirus is rounding the nook is within the halls of the White Home.” — JIMMY FALLON

“In the meantime, when Pence noticed he was trending on-line, he was like, ‘Oh, no — do I’ve one other fly on my head?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s proper, Pence will proceed to marketing campaign, ’trigger not even Covid can cease folks from seeing the electrical energy and uncooked sexual magnetism that’s Mike Pence in particular person.” — JIMMY FALLON

“We want all of them a speedy restoration, in fact we do, each from the virus and from considering it was ever a good suggestion to work for Mike Pence.” — JAMES CORDEN

“Regardless of all of this, Pence himself nonetheless has not examined constructive as a result of even the virus isn’t all for Mike Pence.” — JAMES CORDEN

“It’s just like the coronavirus gained the Tremendous Bowl, besides it already made journeys to Disneyland and the White Home.” — JIMMY FALLON

“In response this weekend, the White Home dispatched chief of employees and final boy picked for the white delight kickball sport, Mark Meadows. Yesterday, Meadows went on CNN to reassure a apprehensive nation that you simply’re by yourself.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The White Home’s new plan to cease the virus is to cease making an attempt to cease it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Fascinating, so the plan is to simply let coronavirus unfold freely all through America? It’s attention-grabbing how zen Trump’s individuals are about this, you understand, as a result of with an immigrant youngster who came to visit the border, they’re like: ‘Zero tolerance! One is simply too many! We’ve got to deport!’ However with a virus that’s killing tons of of 1000’s of People they’re like: ‘Look, man, the virus is simply making an attempt to make a greater life in our lungs. Who’re we to cease it?’” — TREVOR NOAH

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