Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert Bring Levity to Election Specials

Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert Bring Levity to Election Specials
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Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert Bring Levity to Election Specials

Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert Carry Levity to Election Specials

“Within the presidential race, Joe Biden has gained the state of Vermont, the security state of Georgia continues to be too near name, however Trump has nabbed Alabama. And you must see that coming. I imply, Alabama loves soccer, which is Trump’s actual physique form, in order that wasn’t actually a shock.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Look, I don’t know why you’re so shocked about Florida. First off, I went to varsity in Florida — that’s what you don’t bear in mind. I can let you know about Florida. Ain’t however two good issues in Florida: South Seaside and Disney World. The remainder of Florida is simply unusual individuals in pickup vehicles attempting to promote you child alligators.” — ROY WOOD JR., “The Day by day Present” correspondent on Florida being known as for Trump

“It is sensible as a result of Trump is like — Trump is the last word Florida mascot, you already know? He’s received the tan, all his associates are in jail, someway he has cash.” — TREVOR NOAH

“That is loopy! Which means Trump hugged all these cactuses for nothing.” — TREVOR NOAH, on Biden taking the lead in Arizona

“And Biden has additionally gained California — wow! Regardless of Donald Trump choosing up that last-minute endorsement from the wildfires. Unbelievable.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Ohio has simply been known as for Donald Trump. It’s gone from the Buckeye state to the ‘[expletive] why?’ state.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Ohio going to Trump

“What do you count on? It’s the identical strong judgment that took a wonderfully good bowl of chili and mentioned, ‘Know what this wants? Spaghetti.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Properly, you already know the previous joke about Ohio: What’s spherical on each ends and [expletive] within the head? Ohio.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Let’s begin in Maryland, the place CBS initiatives that Joe Biden has defeated Donald Trump. ‘[imitating Trump] However Maryland and I’ve a lot in widespread. We’re each recognized for giving individuals crabs.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“We at the moment are capable of venture that Delaware has been gained by Joe Biden. Properly, I ought to hope so, it’s his dwelling state. That might be like Donald Trump shedding New York. [beat] He what? That’s gotta sting.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Properly, you already know what they are saying: If you may make it right here, you’re not Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And just a little additional west or north, I’m unsure, Indiana has simply been known as for Donald Trump. Properly, in fact — it was both vote for him or take Mike Pence again. That’s a simple name.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And for any Oakies questioning how your pan is being dealt with, I can now confidently report that the state of Oklahoma is being known as for Donald Trump. Properly, you know the way the music goes: [singing] ‘Oklahoma the place they don’t care Trump killed Herman Cain.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Biden gained the hearts of Bostonians together with his stirring message of telling a man from New York to close the hell up.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Biden taking Massachusetts

“In fact in New Hampshire in 2020, ‘Dwell Free or Die’ isn’t only a motto, it was the 2 decisions on the poll.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Biden’s New Hampshire’s win

“Seems the Structure state prefers somebody who has learn the Structure.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Biden taking Connecticut

“No shock, Donald Trump has additionally gained Tennessee, which has an precise state gun, the Barrett 50 Caliber M82, which I’m being instructed has additionally gained its senate seat.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“First up, New Hampshire. Incumbent Democratic Senator Jeanne Shaheen has defeated Republican Corky Messner. And the 231 yr streak of no Corkys in Congress continues.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And in Kentucky, Mitch McConnell has defeated Democrat Amy McGrath. So it seems, not like his fingers, Mitch McConnell’s seat won’t be turning blue.” — TREVOR NOAH

“And in South Carolina, Republican Lindsey Graham has defeated Democratic challenger Jamie Harrison. Probably not a giant shock. The South has continued to maintain a accomplice monument, is sensible.” — TREVOR NOAH

“We are able to additionally formally guesstimate that the Massachu-chu Senate race has been known as for Democratic Senator Ed Markey. Senator Markey is the incumbent and the co-author of The New Inexperienced Deal, so it’s becoming that Massachusetts has determined to reuse him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Some Mud Bowl outcomes have blown in. Oklahoma Senate race has been known as for G.O.P. incumbent and world warning denier Jim Inhoff. Inhoff was closely favored to win so he wasn’t sweating the end result. He was sweating as a result of for some motive yearly it’s hotter than the earlier one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

Colbert’s Showtime particular provided a soothing finish to a nail biting night time with “Issues that Really feel As Satisfying As You Need This To.”

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